Cultural Crossroads
Kids of missionaries thrive amidst colliding cultures

By Mary Beth Meilstrup

"Thank you, Daddy!" shrieks ten-year-old Corrine Bradford, throwing her arms around her father. He unfurls the source of her delight – a poster from the popular teen movie High School Musical 2.

That’s not an unusual gift for a girl Corrine’s age – but the bedroom wall on which the poster hangs is a bit out of the ordinary. The Bradfords’ house is in a small, dusty town deep in the bush of Senegal, West Africa, where her family serves as International Mission Board missionaries.

The bedroom Corrine shares with sister Miranda, 13, displays American movie stars, Polly Pockets and teen fiction, but some aspects of their life aren’t quite so all-American.  

Typical attire? A simple skirt of African fabric, worn to the ankles. Favorite food? Mafé, a peanut sauce served over rice. After-school activity? Helping a neighbor wash clothes by hand in plastic basins.

This blend of cultures is typical of children who grow up on the mission field. In fact, missionary kids are commonly called TCKs – Third Culture Kids – because they integrate elements of their American culture and their West African to create a unique "third culture."

The character-building exposure to that unique culture helps missionary parents realize the benefit to raising children in West Africa.

"They can play with the rocks, and they can play with the bottle caps and make bottle cap soccer just as much as they can play with the Gameboy or American games," says the girls’ mom, Julie Bradford, who also has a teenage son. "They’ve seen both sides and they’re fine with both sides. I think they look at who they’re with and they just jump right in."

Navigating between cultures

Most missionary parents make efforts to integrate their kids into the new culture as much as possible. TCKs learn local languages, ride public transportation, play soccer in the streets and help villagers with chores.

The challenge is helping kids embrace Africa while keeping them aware of typical American life.  And TCKs sometimes need help navigating these cultural crossroads at unexpected moments. 

In an international airport on the Bradfords’ first trip back to the US, Corrine had her first encounter with automatic soap dispensers and self-flushing toilets.

"It scared her to death because she wasn’t used to seeing that – she’s used to squatty potties," says Julie’s husband, Scott. "She thought someone was in the stall with her!"

God fills in

Families considering overseas missions often weigh the cost of moving their children beyond their comfort zone.

"Who sells all their stuff and moves to Africa?" laughs Mike McAfee, who moved to Ivory Coast last year with his wife, Heather, and two children ages 6 and 8.

"Leaving friends and family was hard," admits Heather. "Knowing my kids wouldn’t get to see them; that I wouldn’t be there for the big things. I’ll be crazy Aunt Heather who lives in Africa."

But the call to share the "the Jesus path" with those who’ve never heard compels families like the McAfees to be willing to let go of some special things in America.

"It was hard to take Caleb out of sports – he was excelling at all of them," says Mike, an enthusiastic football fan. "You’ve got to remember God’s in control. Whatever they miss, He’ll fill in."

Now Mike and Caleb, age 8, follow the local version of football – soccer. They joined with their new home city to cheer for the Ivorian national team in the 2008 Africa Cup of Nations, which provided a new way to bond with African friends.

Opportunities like these to expand your kids’ worldview are an invaluable benefit of raising families on the mission field, says Scott.

"Our kids are exposed to something bigger than U.S. culture," he says. "Our kids see things in ways that most kids in America have not thought of. So their worldview is much bigger."

Cultural training

TCKs often become well-versed in worldview issues like politics, religion or poverty. But there are some everyday issues kids in America face that TCKs may not see on the mission field – like drugs or divorce.

To address these topics in a non-threatening way, the Bradfords take advantage of family TV night. Watching American shows on DVD allows teaching moments to naturally emerge.

Parents also seek ways to embrace American traditions, like holidays. In coastal Dakar, Senegal, where sand and palm trees dominate the landscape, preschooler parents Chad and Crystal Reynolds craft pilgrims and paper turkeys at Thanksgiving and decorate a tree for Christmas.

The McAfees turn Fridays into American food "fry-days" by inviting fellow missionaries to join them for homemade chicken nuggets and French fries. Heather often slips into a pair of khakis or blue jeans, just because she can. It’s quite a contrast to other days, when she wraps a scarf in her hair and a pagne (African skirt) around her waist.

Family ministry

On Thursdays, the McAfee family heads to an under-privileged neighborhood where they share Bible stories in the courtyards of African families.

"They’re people magnets," Heather says of her children. "Once people know we have kids, they are as surprised that we have them here in Africa as people in America are surprised that we brought them to Africa. And so they want to see them and once they’ve seen them they want them to be there every time."

Crystal agrees her kids play a vital role in her mission efforts.

"They spur us on to do ministry," she says. "We’ll be rushing through [an errand] and they’ll say about the lady checking us out at the grocery store, ‘Do you think she knows Jesus?’ …

Even her son Caleb, age two, took a Bible to the guard who works for them.

"Because Caleb gave it to him, he took that as a sign from God that he needed to start reading it," she says.  "… When you tell your kids that’s the reason you live here, that’s what they want to do."